Session 36: Bring on the chill pills
After missing my previous appointment due to a sick optometrist we are back in business 🙂 In the meantime I discovered that an everlasting toothache turns out to be a sinus infection (since the tooth in gone now). After the extraction of the tooth, things seemed to improve somewhat for a while untill the wound healed and the pain reoccured along with a new exhaustion wave. These new developments have crippled my eye game somewhat but the good news is that now I know what is ailing me. So I’ll get on it…
Anyways, so what about yesterdays training? No mindblowing improvements but no setbacks either, which is not too bad given the infection hitting hard. At a short distance I’m getting quite good as I said before but it’s not an automatism yet… So now we are extending the distance up to two meters. You might think that if you can do it close up, the switch to longer distances might come quite easy… That doesn’t seem to be true. The position of your eyes might be the same at some point but the lens accomodation has to be more relaxed. So I should learn to look more widely WHILE relaxing my lens… Basically, I can’t point my eyes correctly if I don’t relax that lens. Which is not that evident (for me haha). She said ‘the hardest part for you is relaxing those muscles/lense, it’s the relaxing part that’s mostly missing. Your eyes are too tense.’ (and the efforts I do make are being used incorrectly since you never used my eyes correctly, draining energy and being tense…) I was like ‘Story of my life woman, always trying too hard’ Hahah. It does make sense though, in order for any movement to be fluent you need to be able to relax that muscle or bodypart too. Some things can’t be resolved by adding more power, you need to let go… All that crap about ‘Perfection is not only about control, it’s also about dancing to the music’, well there you have it… 🙂 It’s like fighting polution by burning more combustion fluids. What we need is cleaner technology haha. A dozen other metaphores do apply but let’s not bore you guys out… Bottom line, bring on those chill pills.
Last thing I learned yesterday is that it’s easier to heal after suppressing the second image, like I did for most of my life. Once you have conscious double vision as I have since the faulty operation it’s way harder. Because you are already using both eyes but in an incorrect fashion meaning you are even further from home. In case of suppression you ”just” need to add the second eye. So once again it’s clear that the idiots failed to detect a lifelong window of opportunity untill the day of the operation and almost closed the window for good… Be that as it may… I’m not dead yet so let’s try it.